I Didn't Know Who I Was Supposed To Be At Fifteen...

"'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them. And when you're fifteen..Feeling like there nothing to figure out. Well count to ten, take it in. This is life before who you're gonna believe them.."

SOOOOOOO unbelievability T.R.U.E. Totally Explains everything I ever felt at fifteen.. Okay, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, and even parts of eighteen. But especially 15-17. I thank you Taylor Swift for always summing up my feelings. You always now know how to put feelings into an amazing song.

I was a total mess when A.J. broke up with me. Like couldn't get out of bed mess. Don't tell me teens can't be in love . It's bullshit, even if it IS puppy-love SO WHAT? Still love, let alone first love.

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine...
Sometimes, I get furious about the way I was treated and the other times, I wouldn't take it back it for the world. Love is BLIND. I shouldn't of been so oblivious. BUT He taught me to move on and without him, I would have never be who I am now. How can I hate him for that?

And now? I can't imagine him as anything other but as a really as amazing old friend. It seems FOREVER ago. Like another life. Who WAS I?

Does that make me a bad fiancee..thinking about all this?

I hope not. I love Keith more than I could EVER have ever imagined or even fathomed. It's so incredibly difficult to place those of your past into your present...especially if you felt that strongly about them. But as much as felt about him, I feel 987978 more for Keith...I feel 834583745348756 trillion times more. He is my W.O.R.L.D. and everything in it. Forever.

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. Remember when you're talkin to the Man upstairs, that just because He may not answer doesn't mean He don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered.